Love the Way You Lie

As we all know, high schoolers are never 100% open about everything going on in their lives. Lying is a lesson we learned along with the ABCs and peeing in a toilet. We have all lied to somebody; maybe a friend, parent, or even the occasional teacher asking for our late homework. The thing that some people don’t realize is that if you’re gonna lie, do it full out or you’re going to be fa-zucked. Sometimes you can get away with a simple white lie, but if you don’t get everyone in on it or make sure nobody is going to find out the facts are false then you’re screwed. Here are some do’s and don’t on lying.

Situation: your mother asks why her tribal vases are under the sink. Don’t say, “I don’t know!” in a sassy tone of voice. It will get you grounded (if your parents know what that is.) Do say, “Oh! I was cleaning the kitchen and didn’t want them to fall and break. Sorry.” An apology is always appreciated.

Situation: a friend asks you to go out but you’re mad at her. Don’t cough and say, “I’m sick,” in a sassy gay voice. You will get the reaction of “BOO! You whore.” Do come up with an excuse about how you can’t go out because you’re grounded from hiding your mom’s tribal vases.

Situation: you didn’t invite your best friend to your party and she finds out. Don’t tell her you couldn’t invite her because you had to pretend to be plastic. And NEVER accuse her of having a crush on you. Do tell her that it isn’t your party; it’s just your house.

Situation: your kids ask you about the creation story. Don’t tell them that on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle so that man could fight the dinosaurs, and the homosexuals. Do look in the damn Bible and see what really happened!

XOXO, Cady Heron